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Vis ontleden/ Dissecting fish

09 Nov

Toen ik aan de grote keukentafel van ons studentenhuis plaatsnam, was dat op zichzelf geen ongebruikelijke actie. Dat ik daar voor de gezelligheid zat en commentaar gaf, deed ik immers wel vaker.
Dat ik gefascineerd keek hoe een huisgenote de huid van een stuk zalm trok en haar vertelde hoe dat eigenlijk moest, dat verbaasde wel.
‘Doe jij het dan maar’, schoof ze me haar gereedschap (een fruitschilmesje) met een grijns toe. Ik aarzelde geen moment.
‘Jij kookt toch nooit?’ vroeg ze, weliswaar verbaasd, maar eveneens prettig verrast. Dit scheelde haar eindeloos geklieder, want ik bleek de kunst van het ‘vis ontleden’ prima te verstaan.
‘Nee, dat klopt, maar dat wil nog niet zeggen dat ik het ook geen vis uit elkaar kan halen’, sprak ik, terwijl ik met het door haar aangereikte fruitschilmesje een tamelijk succesvolle operatie uitvoerde.
‘Goh, ‘t is net alsof je de plakrand van een irritante sticker haalt’, zei ik tegen de vis. Inmiddels waren er alweer drie andere huisgenoten door honger gedreven de keuken binnen gekomen. Zich allemaal afvragend wat ik daar in godesnaam zat te doen.
‘Sinds wanneer moet dat vel van zo’n vis, zitten daar niet de meeste vitamines in?’ vroeg er eentje zich af.
‘Weet ik veel,’ zei ik, ‘ik weet alleen dat zij de huid eraf wil hebben, dus tadaa, dat doe ik. Geen idee of het noodzakelijk is’. En daarmee was het basta. Het gasfornuis ging aan, de vis in de pan en de huisgenoot had een smakelijke maaltijd zonder vieze handen.

Deze column maakt deel uit van een bundel. ‘Het Studentenhuis’ is verkrijgbaar bij lulu.com

When I entered the large kitchentable of our student home on one late afternoon, sat myself down, that wasn’t a very strange thing to happen on itself. Since I used to sit there just for the company and commentary on everything.
The fact that I was fascinated by how a roommate tried to de-skin a salmon and then started telling her how to do it, that did raise some eyebrows.
‘You do it then’, she said, handing me her tool. So I did without hestitation.
‘But you never cook?’ she said surprised, but in a happy way. I just saved her from endlessly messing around, because it was clear that I could ‘dissect fish’ very well.
‘No, that’s right, but that doesn’t mean I can’t dissect fish’, I said, while I was successfully preparing the fish with the fruit knife she had handed me.
‘Gee, it’s like peeling off the sticky side of an annoying sticker’, I spoke to the fish.
The kitchen, meanwhile, had been filled up with more roommates, who were hungry and very curious about what on earth I was doing there.
‘Since when do you have to dissect the skin of such a fish, I thought it contained the most vitamines?’ was one comment.
‘I don’t know dear’, I said, ‘I just know she wants it off, so tadaa I am doing that. I don’t know if it’s necessary’. And that was the end of the discussion.When I entered the large kitchentable of our student home on one late afternoon, sat myself down, that wasn’t a very strange thing to happen on itself. Since I used to sit there just for the company and commentary on everything.
The fact that I was fascinated by how a roommate tried to de-skin a salmon and then started telling her how to do it, that did raise some eyebrows.
‘You do it then’, she said, handing me her tool. So I did without hestitation.
‘But you never cook?’ she said surprised, but in a happy way. I just saved her from endlessly messing around, because it was clear that I could ‘dissect fish’ very well.
‘No, that’s right, but that doesn’t mean I can’t dissect fish’, I said, while I was successfully preparing the fish with the fruit knife she had handed me.
‘Gee, it’s like peeling off the sticky side of an annoying sticker’, I spoke to the fish.
The kitchen, meanwhile, had been filled up with more roommates, who were hungry and very curious about what on earth I was doing there.
‘Since when do you have to dissect the skin of such a 
The stove went on, the fish ended in a pan and the roommate had a nice meal without getting her hands dirty.

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Posted by on November 9, 2014 in Daily life, Humour

 

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