Growing up in a gay household

02 Aug

No, not myself. In a way I wish I was, so I knew what I was talking about.
A relative of mine was, however. Unfortunately he passed away, before I was able to ask him anything about that.

His mothers weren’t just lesbians, they were pioneers at the time. It was the eighties. Not everyone LIKED the idea of people being different back then. One of the grandmothers, for instance. As soon as she heard about the pregnancy, she said ‘don’t expect me to babysit’, basically telling them they didn’t have her blessing.
The kid never really felt appreciated by this grandmother as a result of that, which I, quite frankly, understand.

In my old neighbourhood, there was a lesbian couple with children. As a child, my mother always claimed I never asked that many questions about it. Indeed, I can’t remember thinking, while entering their premises, ‘gee, this is odd’. They had four children in total: two girls, a boy my friends and me played with sometimes and there was a fourth one on the way. I did know two mothers weren’t so standard, but I also knew this was simply possible. My mother had explained to me that in a case like that, women just borrowed sperm from someone. Which made my knowledge of ‘borrowing’ a bit peculiar, because weren’t you supposed to return things you borrowed?
But anyway.
There I was, having lemonade and cookies in this house, enjoying that and asking what everyone was called. I do remember thinking I didn’t like the names that much, and years after, hearing those names in Dutch gay households more often. I won’t mention the names as it could be coincidental and I don’t want to give out a Katie Hopkins-like reputation to anyone. And the other gay households I’m talking about were when I worked in children’s daycare, so I didn’t actually see what was going on inside houses. If it was different in any way, if the children acted differently from children in more standard households, for instance.
Shortly after, we went out to play again, so that was it, really.

I was happy to find out about this blog on tumblr instead, written by Jesse Toksvig-Stewart, one of the children of Sandi Toksvig. In their case I suppose their state of being was even more special. Not only were they unique in having two Moms, but also one of the mothers being famous. It does make it extra special. As if you not only have triplets in your household, but they’re identical aswell. Something like that. And still, if it’s the standard you grow up with, it tends to become very normal. It should be. It should be normal as having twins in the house. Special, but good.

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Posted by on August 2, 2015 in Opinion


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