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Birthday

06 Feb

‘Happiness is only a mug full of pralines away, you know that?’ Billie asked her colleague John, who was just about to smash his computer screen into the ground.
Billie was surprisingly unaware of his struggles.
‘What?!’ was his response, panting, as he was trying to dig up every lifeline that kept his screen alive. The screen that said that whatever he wanted to do, was not gonna happen. The screen that had been telling him that for over half an hour now, long before Billie decided now was the best time to come by with her new mug. With pralines.
‘I said that happiness is only a mug full of pralines away’, Billie continued, still not noticing that John actually couldn’t care less that it was her birthday or that her hair was fabulous – the kind of thing she actually wanted to hear, but John missed out on that hint as he was barely all there with his head.
John wasn’t the type of man to like computers if they disobeyed.
Still.
Billie got no response from John for the passed five minutes, while she had been extendedly obvious opened the three enveloppes she had been carrying.
They were all spam: one for cartridges, one for office supplies and one from a nearby supermarket that was bragging about its superjuices. They already had a machine that made those at their current office. Which main aim was to sell office supplies. So the mail was not quite that interesting to be fair. Except that it had given Billie the possibility to stick a bit longer at John’s desk, who she secretly fancied quite a bit, but who hadn’t noticed this.
Currently he was under his desk, cursing his way around.
‘You freaking helpless little shit! They should have unplugged you at birth, told you you were worthless and not a true effort to this digital world. They should have smothered you in your printed plates, poured you over in ink print so you’d suffocate in your own little bits and bites, making it impossible for you to…..aaargh!’ John emerged from under his desk, bumping his head into it first because he pulled back in a reflex too hard.
‘Ouch! It bit me! The bastard bit me!’ he shouted, as if he’d just been bitten by a crocodile while crossing the Nile.
As if.
He rubbed the back of his head.
‘Bit you?’ Billies’ dreambubble just popped now. She noticed John. His head all red and sweaty, his shirt loose, his sleeves rolled up, seated on the floor, with a hand slightly bleeding from a paperclip that stung him.
‘Here, you want a praline?’ she offered.
‘Thanks love, that’ll be grand’, he panted.
Billie walked around his desk.
‘Have you been working on that new converter yet?’ she asked.
‘What?’ John was a bit shocked Billie even knew that word.
‘The new converter. It does something to your screen, apparently’ she explained.
‘It does?!’ John was shocked and relieved at the same time. He crawled to his desk, hung his arms over the keyboard, with the rest of his body still on the floor. It made him look like he was just hanging over the edge of a swimming pool, Billie thought. He punched a few keys, waited with his hands on his head. Then his face cleared up.
‘So that’s it!’ he kissed her.
‘Best birthday ever!’ she smiled.

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Posted by on February 6, 2016 in Humour, Projects

 

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