Given the many comments I’ve read about any type of bully who claims not having abused anyone and their bystanders going ‘why didn’t s/he report it when it happened then, eh?’ because to a bully, this is apparently the only way to ‘proof’ that anyone is stating a lie as soon as they say ‘I was abused by him/her’.
It shouldn’t be up to the bully to decide whether a story is true or not, which is the whole problem with #meToo. They are, after all, the ones who started it in the first place. Of course they want the evidence, which they’ve wiped out, to be part of the ‘proof it!’ explanation.
Aren’t they right for wanting proof of their misbehavings then? By law, of course they are. Then again, there’s visible and invisible proof that could be claimed here.
The visible proof is, apparently, the report that was written by a police officer? If you believe the bullies, this is the first thing that should be done. Even before talking to someone in confidence, because the proof should be filed at all times. Even if the offender has whispered in your ears ‘try telling anyone, and I’ll cut your throat/hurt your family/make sure you will never work again/take all your money/kill you/anything else horrible’. Of course, bullies are never sensitive for this type of behaviour. They would never let themselves be intimidated by any of that. They are bullies, this is how they live. You intimidate people until they are stiff with fear and will only do as they are told, like a good soldier.
Then there’s normal people, with actual feelings, who DO understand that an attack of the sexual act, or longterm sexual abuse, will have taken a lot of your courage. Especially when it’s met with threats of any kind, or severe mental abuse as well.
A normal human being will think: that will take some therapy to get ready to even make the possibility of it having happened for real, be manageable. Because that is what it does. When someone attacks your body, without your consent, has threatened you to do any additional harm when you go tell anyone, it feels like that perpretator has just locked your body. It is no longer yours. If you so much as tell anyone, the entire world is gonna look at you like you’re the guilty one.
It takes more than a lot of courage. It takes the world to love you and to believe you. And then a bit more. Sexual abuse is not something to take lightly. It can take more than a decade, even a couple of decades, for a victim to go out and tell his or her story.
When The Waves Break The Silence is a story about this.
https://www.boekenbestellen.nl/boek/when-the-waves-break-the-silence/28025 Dutch page for paperback
https://www.amazon.com/Waves-Break-Silence-Lanen-Vries-ebook/dp/B07J5WPF57/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1540842084&sr=8-1&keywords=when+the+waves+break+the+silence&dpID=41qPIslfeuL&preST=_SY445_QL70_&dpSrc=srch amazon for kindle