Category Archives: Films

Dark Shadows

A Tim Burton production with Helena Bonham Carter and Johnny Depp. What could possibly go wrong?

Well, to begin with, the story is so very slow. It doesn’t start to get fun until about 25 minutes in. This is when Johnny Depp enters the scene and adds some good old silly moves in there. But not enough. As far as I can see, this film is a bit of a sad attempt to make Johnny Depp look good again after the lawsuits of his ex-wife. A bit like Huge Grant in that film nobody liked him in, after that car-scene with the prostitute.

The film has funny moments, yes, but since Pirates of the Carribean I kind of expected a bit more out of Mr Depp. Maybe I am hard to entertain these days.

It’s just that in a scene where Barnabas’ (Depp) back is on fire, you see him looking a bit disturbed and confused, and it takes quite a bit of time before Michelle Pfeiffer (yes, she’s in the mix aswell) tells him: ‘Barnabas? You’re back’s on fire!’
To me the moment where this could have been said to be funny was gone.
It strongly reminded me of Death Becomes Her, Mother!, Mum’s The Word and Batman. The latter because that one by Tim Burton lacked speed in a way too.

Could be just me though.

It is not a bad film, but I really missed the music of Danny Elfman (though that would have been a misfit here, I admit) and so the complete ‘being swiped off my feet’ didn’t happen.

Better luck next time, team Burton-Depp-Bonham Carter…

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Posted by on July 17, 2019 in Films, Humour, Opinion, Uncategorized


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Ballerina, Netflix

This film tells the story of two orphans in the old France of 1880. Felicie and Victor want to go to Paris, to follow their dreams. Felicie wants to be a dancer, Victor wants to be an inventor.

The story is nice and all, but it doesn’t have much dept. You see some terrible behaviour expressed towards Felicie and not the attitude to fight against that. As as orphan, I sort of find that hard to believe. We’ve all seen Annie, the streetfighter kickback. I know not every girl is the same, but for Felicie, who has to tried to escape her miserable existence, this doesn’t seem very logical behaviour.

Also, the mother of the Camille is a grossly terrible woman, but it never shows exactly why she is so vile. Yes, envy and her wanting her own daughter to be the best of all, but you see her act in a way that is beyond child abuse even, and there is never a moment where the woman is truly held accountable for those actions. Or for the things she says. Except for the man from the dance academy, and even that is only briefly.

Most of the music in this film is far, far too modern for the time setting. So are most of Felicie’s clothes.

The music box that keeps falling down in Felicie’s dreams becomes annoying after the second time. You still have two more times to come after that.

All in all it is a nice watch for children, who won’t notice any of this, but as a grownup you might wonder about a thing or two in this film. It is not bad, but they should have worked a bit more with certain background stories, in my opinion.

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Posted by on June 30, 2019 in Films, Opinion, Uncategorized


Wine Country

Maya Rudolph, Amy Poehler, Rachel Dratch, Tina Fey, Ana Gasteyer, Paula Pell and others.

The storyline itself is quite thin: group of female friends go for a weekend away to celebrate the 50st birthday of one of them.

With such a starstudded cast of funny people, I kind of expected to be bathing in jokes all the time. To me that was not the case. They tried to put a bit of drama in it, but there is barely any tension to make it a true drama.
I wasn’t familiar with Paula Pell yet and I actually hate how the storyline didn’t give her a chance to have a nice little adventure with this Jade. Instead Jade was made a bit of a bitch. I do think that was a missed opportunity. I mean the two other girls got to have their little adventure with Devon, why not give Val a bit of a break? Especially after that lovely run in the streets? Or the handing out of vibrators at a restaurant (missed oppertunity to make some waiters feel highly uncomfortable by make them interrupt this little gathering, by the way?!) and so on. For a group of such lovely funny women, I do think lots of moments have been left aside to put in more jokes.

Then again, maybe some of it went right past me. I did like it, I just hoped for a bit more.

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Posted by on May 16, 2019 in Films, Opinion, Uncategorized


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Extremely Wicked Shockingly Evil And Vile

Extremely Wicked Shockingly Evil And Vile

I’ve watched this film so you don’t have to. Truly, don’t bother. Despite the starstrucken cast (who the hell convinced John Malkovich to do this??)I don’t see how this film should be anything other than pure clickbait, hence the title. You only come up with something like that if you don’t have anything profoundly to add to it.
I get how Zac Efron was cast as Ted Bundy, to show how he was, apparently ‘so charming’. I see how Lily Collins (‘To The Bone’) gets to show her fragile appearance and strong character again, I see the irony in a way why Haley Joel Osment ‘I see dead people’ was cast here, but how Jim Parson (Big Bang Theory) could have been concinced to do a film that is so incredibly shallow and has no base to show anything else than the apparent twofaced killed that was Ted Bundy, I do wonder. Is it because it is so different from the Sheldon Cooper character? Yes, I know he has played more roles since then, it’s just struck me how different this particular role is in comparison to that one, I’m sorry.

Given that Ted Bundy has become most famous before by the film The Silence Of The Lambs, a truly gruesome, but profound film, with showed horrific details as to why exactly this Ted Bnudy was such an utter devastating creep, it has struck me how little of these details are even described in this one. I honestly have trouble thinking why this film was made exactly? I can’t think of any reason. I’ve read on the internet that I MUST SEE the Ted Bundy tapes if I watched this film. I refuse to, as I don’t wish to watch stuff that seems to be solely made to glorify serial murderers. We have enough idiots walking around without documentaries like that being made. If they had warnings inside them, like ‘parents around the globe: please show your children the unbound love they deserve, provide them with the love, care and therapy that they need to become the most loving persons they can become, so that they don’t grow up as bloody psychopaths who just go on killingsprees because they feel like it’I don’t see the point.
At least The Silence Of The Lambs and even the wikipedia are nuanced. They don’t solely base their info on the relationships he had. WHich this film does. That film and wikipedia tell you that not only did Ted Bundy abduct these women, often bash their heads in, he also skinned them, cut off nipples (I’ve only seen this mentioned 1 time in this entire film, not being on show in court at all -no I don’t NEED this, but it would be more accurate).

If Hollywood is so dried out of stories, I have a whole twitter community of Indie authors that I’m sure would be thrilled to have THEIR stories being filmed?! Me included.

Happy Sunday by the way….

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Posted by on May 12, 2019 in Films, Opinion


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Jennifer Lawrence, Javier Bardem, Michelle Pfeiffer, Ed Harris and others.

I’d read about Mother! being quite the spectacle, and in a way it is. Just not the type of spectacle I was hoping for, I guess.
A poet, Javier Bardem, who struggles for inspiration, and his younger wife, Jennifer Lawrence, find themselves in their massive house, in the middle of nowhere. One would expect that to be the perfect place for a writer and his supposed muse.
Then an unexpected knock on the door changes everything.

Especially since both the writer and his wife want different things. The writer wants nothing more than to be distracted, to have the element of surprise to sweep him off his feet, while the wife wants her efforts to make their house a proper home to be acknowledged. She doesn’t want unexpected visitors, she would like her husband to herself, please. No intruders.

Watching the film from that moment it becomes unclear what exactly happens and why the wife, why anyone, would put up with a partner that doesn’t even slightly respect their wishes of wanting those strange people to go home. On one hand she sort of goes with the flow by accepting the fact that her husband wants, NEEDS those people to stay, even though they completely mess up the house.
The final stages of the film were so highly unreal that the final turn of the film didn’t make up for it. Not to me. Given that the film received such high appraisal though, I’m pretty sure I’m the only one thinking that.

To me it was like watching a cross between The Passion Of The Christ and Groundhog Day and not in a good way. The addition of Kirsten Wiig to the cast is completely beyond me. I know she is considered to be a funny girl (I don’t think she is, but that’s me) and she doesn’t play a funny part here either. More like an unexpected Jack-in-a-box, or, given that she’s a woman, a Jackline-in-a-box.

SO there. I wasn’t too pleased. But see it yourself. Unless you don’t like blood, there’s quite some in those final stages and I couldn’t find a good argument for that either.

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Posted by on May 6, 2019 in Films, Opinion, Uncategorized


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Effie Gray

With Dakota Fanning, Greg Wise, Emma Thompson, Julie Walters and many others.

Despite the starloaded cast, this film, after its initial painful beginning of Effie Gray that gets turned down in her wedding night, is as dead as the sex life between the Ruskins. It took me ages to realize they didn’t try again. It bares the same subtleness that is used in Jane Austen novels, and so, when Effie meets Lady Eastlake again, this was the first time I had any idea of how much time apparently had passed.
It seems to me that the film tries to resemble Lady Chatterly’s Lover a bit, or Marie Antoinette, but given that Effie Gray is still a virgin after years, this simply isn’t true.
Well, not according to modern standards, where women are their own person. A point excellently made by Lady Eastlake, perfectly portrayed by the devine Emma Thompson.
Julie Walters portrays her mother-in-law-from-Hell part so subtle and yet so exquisitely aswell. You wouldn’t want to get on her wrong side indeed.

Other than that, this film doesn’t entertain much. There’s the very short scenes, in which the moments are caught that are supposedly showing how Effie and her Mr Ruskin do share their bit of love, but it is never clear why on earth he married her or the other way around. It seems that they ‘just did’.

It is not the kind of costumed drama I was hoping for, but if you like those, you will no doubt like this one, as it shows quite a lot of it. Unfortunately, the characters don’t get to show very much of themselves as I think the story didn’t allow them to do so.

Wouldn’t necessarily recommend, unless you’re a Thompson fan, because though very small, she has a part in it.

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Posted by on March 24, 2019 in Films, Opinion, Uncategorized


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One Chance

Strong resemblance to Billy Elliott at the start, but I think this is intentional and mostly due to Julie Walters playing Paul Potts’ mother.

This film, about a boy growing up in England where it is frowned upon having a dream of becoming an opera singer, can’t make up its mind, it seems.
It says it’s based on a true story, but so much keeps happening, it dazzles a bit and bores in the end. To be fair they should have made the film a bit shorter, cut out some pieces.
Paul Potts meet an absolutely lovely girl due to his mate (whom I know from both The Office, but also the first part of Pirates of the Caribbean, I’ll never forget his eye ball with a wobbling fork in it?!) who can’t stand that Paul has been texting with someone for ages and still hasn’t figured out a way to get a date from it.
Paul wants to be an opera singer, gets the chance to do this in Venice (LOVELY scenes there, by the way, but in my own experiences, Italians usually don’t speak English that well -I could be wrong here) and can’t make his own desire becoming the truth: to gain Luciano Pavarotti’s approval.
Every time he’s about to achieve something big, something happens. Something that makes him end up in the hospital for surgery.
The scene where Paul is becoming Manager because his mate is becoming a District Manager: they could have left that out. It has no real value to the film, so are some other parts.

Stay for the music, but the storyline keeps dragging on, despite the lovely cast.

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Posted by on February 28, 2019 in Films, Opinion, Uncategorized


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