RSS

Category Archives: Humour

Dark Shadows

A Tim Burton production with Helena Bonham Carter and Johnny Depp. What could possibly go wrong?

Well, to begin with, the story is so very slow. It doesn’t start to get fun until about 25 minutes in. This is when Johnny Depp enters the scene and adds some good old silly moves in there. But not enough. As far as I can see, this film is a bit of a sad attempt to make Johnny Depp look good again after the lawsuits of his ex-wife. A bit like Huge Grant in that film nobody liked him in, after that car-scene with the prostitute.

The film has funny moments, yes, but since Pirates of the Carribean I kind of expected a bit more out of Mr Depp. Maybe I am hard to entertain these days.

It’s just that in a scene where Barnabas’ (Depp) back is on fire, you see him looking a bit disturbed and confused, and it takes quite a bit of time before Michelle Pfeiffer (yes, she’s in the mix aswell) tells him: ‘Barnabas? You’re back’s on fire!’
To me the moment where this could have been said to be funny was gone.
It strongly reminded me of Death Becomes Her, Mother!, Mum’s The Word and Batman. The latter because that one by Tim Burton lacked speed in a way too.

Could be just me though.

It is not a bad film, but I really missed the music of Danny Elfman (though that would have been a misfit here, I admit) and so the complete ‘being swiped off my feet’ didn’t happen.

Better luck next time, team Burton-Depp-Bonham Carter…

Advertisements
 
Leave a comment

Posted by on July 17, 2019 in Films, Humour, Opinion, Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , , , ,

50/50

With Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Seth Rogen, Anna Kendrick, Angelica Huston, Bryce Dallas Howard, Serge Houde and others.

A young man who hears of a his sudden cancer diagnosis, is facing this with factors he can no longer deal with.
His girlfriend is bitchy selfishly and perfectly portrayed as such by Bryce Dallas Howard (I only seem to catch her in these type of roles, was she born to be typecast as such? Just like Kirsten Dunst, she doesn’t ever seem to play a nice person). Kyle (very properly played by Seth Rogen) is Adam’s best friend and a true hero in this film. It doesn’t show directly, meanwhile he keeps at Adam’s side at all times. What friendship is really all about, eh?

The film definitely has a proper message: don’t waste your time. It also tells you that not all the professionals that are involved in your treatment, will actually see you as a person. The doctor telling Adam his initial diagnosis clearly shows the lack of respect that some doctors might have. I think it’s a little too strong, so you’re glad when Adam’s mother (very nice play by Angelica Huston) verbally slaps the doctor in the face for that.

The only part that was highly questionable to me, was Anna Kendrick. I can’t believe someone would be that unprofessional and that easy to persuade to bend the rules her way. It was good for Adam’s story though.

It is a proper watch. It’s not the lightest material thanks to the cancer, but it’s got enough proper good moments to go with it.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on February 2, 2019 in Films, Humour, Opinion, Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , , , , , ,

The Balad of Buster Scruggs

With a starloaded cast, this series of stories is a very intruiging one. Though it starts indeed with The Balad of Buster Scruggs, it continues with other ones. The Coen brothers have known how to tell the stories very well. The first one, of Buster Scruggs, reminded me of House of Cards (the giving attention to the audience) and a bit of Ewan McGregor in Moulin Rouge. This has nothing to do with the setting, but since it’s put up a bit clownesque, and I’ve never seen that actor sing, so there was a surprise. There’s a few Tarantino-like scenes in there, which I loved so very much.

This first two stories have something of dark humour in them, the rest lives mostly of atmosphere. They are not ‘quick’, or immediately obvious. All of the stories know how to grab your attention by the balls, but none of them every bore. By the time it could become boring, it’s changed into something else already.

I enjoyed watching this film very much, even though I’m not that much of a cowboy story lover. There’s nonsense to be expected and to be enjoyed.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on November 21, 2018 in Films, Humour, Opinion, Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , , , , , ,

We Zijn Weer Thuis

Ge-wel-dige serie van Wim T. Schippers, waar ik als kind, toen het voor het eerst zag, welsiswaar nog niet de helft begreep, maar het al wel heel leuk vond.
Toen het op dvd uitkwam, bedacht ik me geen moment.

Volgens wikipedia:

De weduwe Nel van der Hoed-Smulders (Truus Dekker) beschikt over een fortuin, een aantal miljoenen uit de nalatenschap van de vader van haar jongste zoon Thijs (Dick van der Toorn). De oudere zoons Simon en Govert mogen het huis niet verlaten zonder toestemming van Nel want dan verspelen zij hun erfenis van 1 miljoen. Thijs is de enige die zonder voorwaarden over zijn erfenis kan beschikken, maar zijn kinderlijkheid houdt hem ook in het ouderlijk huis. Notaris Henk Born (Carol van Herwijnen) beheert, tussen het betasten van vrouwen door, het familiefortuin op dubieuze wijze. Simon houdt zich bezig met schrijven, intellectuele taalgrappen maken en eveneens vrouwen betasten. Govert probeert een bloeiend computerbedrijf op te zetten. Thijs is voornamelijk bezig met kinderlijke bevliegingen, eten en het slachtoffer zijn van oudere mannen die op jongetjes vallen.

Hoewel dit niet direct als een aanrader kan klinken, is het dat wel degelijk. Het is namelijk Wim T Schippers met taalgrappen en chaos tot en met. Een regelrechte aanrader.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on November 9, 2018 in Humour, Opinion, series

 

Tags: , , , , , ,

How I made a Barbarella-outfit out of an H&M jumpsuit

Yes, I am without a hobby. You’ve got to be, when doing something like this, right?

Fact is: I wrote a scifi book (well, that is my opinion, the one I wrote it for said it has a lack of spaceships?! – it has one, but, like Dr Who’s, it’s camouflaged!) and I wanted a pic of me in a Barbarella-like outfit.

So there. That was the initial goal.
Now all I had to look for, was a store that sold something that came even remotely close to such an outfit.
After studying several outfits that I was aware of, worn by the gorgeous Jane Fonda, I decided to go for vlcsnap-2015-02-03-11h47m11s195this one.

When I found out H&M stores had a jumpsuit available in white, I went for it. Thankfully, I had just bought a sewing-machine 🙂

 

so after cutting the legs off, buying black satin ribbons, sewing those on the halter-part of the jumpsuit, I had to undo the legs. Given that I’m not really that good at handycrafts, I ended up making a seam quite next to where the original seam already was situated, camouflaged that with some more ribbon, and so on. Then I put on some cardboard tube with aluminum foil on our wii-gun.

To be fair, I was quite pleased with the result 🙂 So if anybody asks you: YES, I’m available for the remake of Barbarella! 😉

Barbarella IMG_6823_7172 klein.jpg

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on July 6, 2018 in Books, Films, Humour, Projects, Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Comedians and comedians.

Years ago a -then- friend told me he didn’t like Dawn French, and I went like ‘what?!’ in astonishment. My parents made me and my siblings grow up with this fab lady and her circle of friends, thanks very much. I grew up to adore the British sense of humour that is French & Saunders, The Young Ones, A Bit of Fry & Laurie, AbFab and so on. I can’t remember much of all, I’ll admit, but to this day I’m highly amused by watching reruns of all of them, on whatever platform.

Including Dawn French.
This friend (who is no longer a friend by the way) said to me: ‘all she does is saying “hello there, I’m fat, now laugh because I’m FUNNY!”‘. I had never noticed that. Nor do I do so now.
Has she, like another funny colleague of a likewise stature, used her physical appearance in her advantage? Yes, very much so. I think both Dawn French and Jo Brand are hilarious. There are many more of the same comedian power, of course.

Then I read and saw a bit of another female comedian with a similar bodyfeatures, so to speak. One that is funny, but not especially British funny. Talking English, yes, but that’s not all it takes to be British, and you know it.
I don’t think I’ve ever heard either of the previous British ladies claim that their lifestyle was specifically healthy, just that they very much enjoy being themselves, thank you very much. They do not wish to be defined by stupid weight. Which is understandable. You talk about weight like you do about the weather: only if you can’t, for the life of you, think of something else to talk to with someone. Because they’re either incredibly boring, or you don’t know them well enough yet. Something like that.

This other comedian is, however, throwing up quite some claims. Telling haters to basically ‘go f*** yourselves, I’m getting paid for this’ and all that. While I think: you could do better things with your time, like cherish the fans you do have.

Just the other day I saw how Dawn French has had to cope with quite a bit being married to Lenny Henry, for the reactions they got from outsiders. It filled me with disgust to know that a lovely couple as them has had to deal with racism in this day and era. I thought ‘bloody hell! How have I never known about this before?’ and I think it’s simply got to do with the fact that Dawn and Lenny, at the time, despite being utterly hurted by it, somehow found it in their way to not address that problem in the press.
This is a bold assumption, especially given that I’ve never lived in the UK, so I have no idea what the paparazzi there is and was like at the time. Also, I wasn’t born during a large part of it, but that seems the teeniest detail here, given that so much of the press before is still traceable online these days.

Back to my point: I get that people with a troubled digestive system, or a body that doesn’t necessarily behave as one wishes, or someone who is simply enjoying who they are, want to make bright and clear to those who seem like the fashion police, that they should sod off: I don’t think that what this specific comedian is doing, works. I’ve seen a small bit of their works, and though it’s funny, it does seem centered around this very ‘problem’. And I don’t even think they are that obese, really. Compared to how I know Dawn French, Oprah or Janet Jackson once looked like, this is just a medium size, really.

If you keep swearing at those who do, you’ll only receive more ‘boo!’s from the crowd, me thinks? And though I don’t mind about anyone’s figure -it’s up to you, not my life- you should be aware that in many cases, obesity isn’t the healthiest of lifestyles, that eating too much sugar CAN lead to diabetes and so on. Maybe not to you, the one who is making the joke, but with diabetes being so broadly spread, it’s a joke that can only be made in a quite small crowd, I guess. And obesity has been proved to be a bigger problem, globally, than starvation.
You can joke about it, of course, but your jokes become more sour the minute you have to defend yourself because of how you look. I never saw Damn or Jo do that. But then again, they’re British.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on March 5, 2018 in Humour, Opinion

 

Tags: , ,

Het Kerstdiner/ The Christmas Dinner

‘Fucking hell, Juultje, knoei eens niet zo!’ Renate onderbrak haar gesprek met de schoonvader van haar schoonvader om haar vierjarige dochter terecht te wijzen, die de oerlelijke, net nieuwe servetten van de dochter van deze schoonvader gebruikte als canvas met haar bordje ossenstaartsoep.
‘Dat is niet érg hoor’, sprak Renate’s schoonvader Theo daarop goedgemutst.
‘Nou ja, het vlekt wél’, Bettina, Theo’s vrouw.
‘Dan had je maar iets moeten maken wat bij de servetten matchte, schat’, sprak Bettina’s vader, lonkend naar Renate. Iets waar zijn vrouw niets van moest hebben, maar gezien de hoeveelheid drank die hij al achter de kiezen had, maakte het hem nu niets meer uit.
Hoe zijn dochter zo’n pietlut had kunnen worden was ‘m een raadsel.
‘Wat zou er eigenlijk voor gerecht pássen, bij zo’n kleur als deze?’ deed Harry, Renate’s man en Theo’s zoon, een duit in het zakje.
‘Perzikkots’, Sem, Bettina’s oudste zoon.
‘Getverdémme!’ riep Juultje met een vies gezicht, om daarna in lachen uit te barsten. Het werkte aanstekelijk. De hele tafel deed mee, zelfs Tanja, Harry’s zus, die toch altijd moeite had met sociale situaties.
‘Ik denk dat kaassoufflé er ook wel goed bij kan’, vulde ze bovendien aan. Tanja was als enige vegetarisch.
‘Of…’
‘Genoeg! Ik begrijp de hint, en nu weer lekker eten graag’, stoorde Bettina zich teveel. Wat Renate onzin vond.
‘Hoezo, wat is er mis met wat gezonde conversatie tijdens het eten?’
‘Niks, maar dit was geen gewone conversatie, dit ging over iets smerigs’
‘Hypothetisch gezien’.
‘Ik word er toch een beetje onpasselijk van’.
‘Volgens mij ben jij de enige, ik vond het een creatieve uitspatting. Bedenken welke kleuren er bij servetten passen. Er bestaat volgens mij niet eens wat tuttigers?!’ bekritiseerde Renate stiekem het onderwerp.
‘Nou….’ begon de Trees, Bettina’s moeder.
‘Ja? U had meteen beeld?’ nu had iedereen beeld. Wat Renate dondersgoed wist. Harry kon een proestlach niet onderdrukken.
‘Renate, kom op, laat het gaan’, sprak Theo dreigend.
‘Goh, wat klink je vaderlijk. Werkt dat bij jullie zo? Jij spreekt haar berispend toe en…’
‘Renaat, kom op’, Harry onderbrak haar, ‘we zijn nog niet eens aan het toetje toe’.
‘Oh ja, wat was dat ook alweer?’ Renate pakte de menukaart erbij.
‘Ambachtelijk bereide appelmoes met biologische slagroom’, las ze.
‘Nou, dat kleurt tenminste wél bij de servetten’, concludeerde ze.
‘Mag ik dat dan op de servetten smeren?’ vroeg Juultje.
‘Ja hoor schat, maar eet eerst even je soep op’.
‘Jij zei poep!’ schaterde Juultje.
‘Nietes, ik zei “eet je soep op”’ herhaalde ze, om te horen dat het wel net léék of ze dat zei.
‘Poep! Poep! Poep! Poep!’ riep Juultje.
‘Nou ja, zeg, Juul, dat zég je toch niet tijdens het eten?’ Harry, hulpeloos. Hij keek voor hulp naar Renate. Die nam een hapje ossenstaartsoep, raakte, per ongeluk expres het bovenbeen van haar schoonvader’s schoonvader aan, tot groot genoegen van deze, en deed net of ze het poep-geroep van hun kleuter niet hoorde.
Het was goed zo, anarchie.
Een vrolijk kerstfeest werd het.

 

[dit was een van m’n eerste deelnames aan een schrijfwedstrijd, die ik, zoals gewoonlijk, niet gewonnen heb. De opdracht was om over een kerstdiner te schrijven, max 500 woorden]

‘Goodness gracious, Jools, don’t spill so much?!’ Helen interrupted her talk with the father-in-law of her father-in-law to correct her four-year-old daughter, who was using the incredibly ugly napkins of the daughter of this father as a canvas with her little plate of oxtailsoup.
‘Oh that’s quite alright’, Theo, her father-in-law shushed.
‘It does stain quite badly’, Bettina, Theo’s wife.
‘Then you should’ve prepared something that matched the napkins, dear’ her father spoke, ogling at Helen. Something his wife quite disapproved of, but since he had had quite a few drinks, he no longer cared for her opinion. How his daughter turned out to be such a nitpicker was beyond him anyway.
‘What WOULD match with a color like this?’ Harry, Helen’s husband and Theo’s son, provoked.
‘Peachpuke’ Sam, Bettina’s eldest.
‘Ew, gross!’ little Jools yelled, followed by such a contagious giggle that within no time at all, the entire table joined. Even Tanya, Harry’s sister, who always had quite a problem with social situations.
‘I think cheese soufflé could match it’ she added. Tanya was the only vegetarian at the table.
‘Or…’
‘Enough! I get the hint! Please just enjoy the nice food now, please!’ Bettina got too annoyed. Helen quite disagreed.
‘Why? What’s wrong with a bit of a proper conversation during dinner?’
‘Nothing, but this wasn’t an ordinary conversation. This was about something filthy’
‘Hypothetically speaking’
‘It is making me feel a bit unwell’
‘I think you’re the only one. I thought it was a creative excess. Thinking what colors might match the napkins. I don’t think there’s anything more fussy’ Helen secretly critized the subject.
‘Well…’ said Molly, Bettina’s mother.
‘Yes? You had an image right away?’ everyone had, now. Something Helen knew too well. Harry couldn’t repress his snort laughter.
‘Come on, Helen, let it go’, Theo spoke on a threatening tone.
‘Wow, you sound like a proper dad. Is that how it goes between you guys? You speak to her strictly and she….’
‘Come on, Hel’, Harry spoke, we haven’t even gotten to the dessert yet’.
‘Ah yes, what was that gonna be?’ Helen took the menu card.
‘Traditionally prepared apple sauce with whipped cream’, she read.
‘Well, at least THAT matches the napkins’, she concluded.
‘Can I smear that on the napkins then?’ Jools enquired.
‘Yes dear, just empty your bowl first’
‘Empty my bowels first??’ Jools started to giggle again.
‘No, I said “empty your bowl first”‘ she repeated, and heard how it nearly sounded the same.
‘Poop! Poop! Poop! Poop!’ Jools yelled.
‘Jools, you can’t say that during dinner!’ Harry said, helpless. He looked for help at Helen. Who avoided eye contact, ate her oxtailsoup in silence, touching on purpose by accident the upperleg of her father-in-laws father-in-law, who so very much enjoyed that, and she completely ignored the poop-yelling of her toddler.
It was a merry Christmas.
Anarchy.
Best served warm.

[this was my entry for a writing context I didn’t win, as usual. The assignment was to write a story about Christmas dinner and to stay within 500 words. As I translated it, the word count may not be the same in English though]

 

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on January 30, 2018 in Daily life, Humour, Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

 
%d bloggers like this: