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Category Archives: Opinion

The Frozen Dead

This French series on Netflix is an interesting one. The first episode so clearly reminds you of The Silence of the Lambs, you’re sort of wondering if it can really be that good? The answer is: it depends on how you look at it.

The detective part of this story isn’t too strong in my opinion. What investigation, after all, doesn’t start with a list of suspects, or develops one during the course of it? One of the missed aspects is, in my opinion, when it’s become clear that one than more person was present somewhere. The investigators don’t really check on any of them. It goes seperate each time. Because they believe they have to follow the leads of a total psychopath.

The lack of certain background facts is in such a way, that by the end of the series, you’re like ‘geez, well this is the weakest backup story ever?!’ Or at least I was. I was very disappointed by how it ended, and not because of the obvious, but because it’s so far off anything that would ever happen in real life. You watch stories like these with a certain expectation. As I said, the first episode was looking quite promising, but for me, the promise didn’t become reality.

It’s definitely worth a watch though, because the acting isn’t bad at all. It’s just that at some point, reality comes to check around the door, and it’s impossible to believe such a thing as that would ever happen for real.

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Posted by on January 9, 2018 in Opinion, series, Uncategorized

 

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Black Mirror, Arkangel

This episode had me bored out flat. Funny, because the essence of the story could be a very interesting one. What if you could indeed inplant your kid with a device that makes it impossible for them to get lost? And if they get lost, at least as a parent, they could be retrieved by a searching system?

But no, this episode, probably based on a book or something, actually doesn’t touch any moral guidelines here. Instead it just shows the life of a solo mother with her only child who briefly gets lost. The mother then decides to get her daughter an implant to always be able to track her down (a concept that I’m sure lots of parents, if not all, would heartly welcome in itself) and you see their lives going on as usual afterwards. There’s no tention of any kind, it’s like watching a reality show that hasn’t been edited properly. Aren’t there ANY hiccups? Yes, there are, but not nearly enough to make it truly interesting.  It’s just a mother and a daughter living their lives, sometimes making a timehop, but still nothing interesting happens.

In former episodes of Black Mirror, at least surrounding details of environment or houses were equipped with something futuristic excitement: not here. The only device is the sort of iPad that keeps track of the daughter.

Aren’t the players playing well? Oh, they are, but since there’s no drama or thrill here, there’s really no need to bother.

Nothing to see here, folks!

 

 
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Posted by on January 1, 2018 in Opinion, series, Uncategorized

 

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Pain, sorrow and suffering

Pain is a tricky thing. You can’t measure pain. It’s pretty much that simple.
If there’s a context, you can more or less imagine that a situation that presents itself, could be more hurtful to person A than it would be to person B, because person A was on a bike while person B drove over person A with a car. Therefor, person B being traumatised hitting person A with the car could be overshadowed by the fact that person B now has to eat through a straw with both legs up.

That’s pretty simple.

When it comes to verbal pain, or harassment, bullying and so on, it becomes a bit more complicated. There’s people with a thick skin, there’s people with barely any. So a remark, a silly word, phrase or even a certain tone, can cause quite a wave. A bigger one than expected by either parties, receiving or the one telling.

That’s the thing these days with the #meToo thing going on, but also with comedians and journalists hitting boundaries.
People now have become extremely sensitive for certain issues, where others are still telling them;
“Stop whining, you’ve had your moment, now move on”. In the case of the #meToo, this will, from now on, always be seen as a ‘oh, so you’re agreeing with the enemy now?!’ while it can be good to be told: move on.
Not because your situation has not been serious enough, but because it is simply best to move on. And it’s not good to dwell on the past for too long. It sours your personality. Is it easy? No, far from it. But you’ll notice you get out stronger. Able to look at the situation from a distance, instead of in the middle of it.

Again, it’s easier said than done.
I remember the moment where my father in law compared his new girlfriend to his just diseased wife.
‘She (girlfriend) is so much sweeter for me than she (the diseased one) ever was!’ this was witin six weeks time. I was still in mourning over my mother in law, so I wanted to kick him in the nuts, the shins or wherever would hurt greatly. Of course I didn’t. I was too shocked to do so. He would go on and make comparisons like that, to my own parents aswell, again on very very sensitive moments.
Confronted with those quotes, he will say now:
‘That’s so long ago, you should forget about it now’, while he still gets to complain about things that I apparently did wrong the same amount of time ago and that -in my opinion- must have hurt him in about the same amount.
But he is an old man who has, according to my husband, had problems with his mental and physical health all of his life. Which makes my father in law a patient for life. He married the girlfriend that was ‘so much sweeter’. Of course. Not very surprising. The problem is, this woman allows him to be a victim forever.
His late wife didn’t. She would tell him, at some point: ‘oh alright now, get a grip and move on’. But that was because physically she outwon him. Unfortunately not in a nice way. They got married because he was supposed to die first, of heart failure. After a year it turned out she was gonna die first. Of cancer. So whatever issues he could come up with (‘I’m sweaty!’, ‘I feel nauseous’, ‘I think my left eyebrow is shifting’) was overshadowed by: ‘dear, I think all of my guts came out at once in the toilet, can you please help me clean ‘m up?’
In a way, I think he must have thought that was unfair.

Yes, that’s a bit dark. But you get my drift.

I am not saying victims of crimes should never feel like a victim. But there’s different ways of handling things, and some work better than others.
The thing is: this is highly personal.
So a Rose McGowen telling Meryl Streep that Meryl’s way of handling things is wrong, seems weird to me. Rose McGowen told (wo)men to protest by not tweeting, not using any social media, to basically use silence to show how angry they were, against people such as Weinstein. Now Meryl Streep and others wanted to do just that to empathise with this group of victims, suddenly Rose McGowen is saying that they should be as loud as possible. It could be me, but that sounds a bit hypocritical to me? Especially the part where she says Meryl Streep a hypocrit. It’s a bit kettle & pot, but that could be just me. And how is it that Rose McGowen is the authority on instructing people how they should handle situations like this in name of everyone anyway? And yes, I now mention Rose McGowen, but it could be anyone, of course. Anyone who has fallen a victim and doesn’t feel heard and wants to tell people on how to act on their behalf. Be aware that your way isn’t necessarily the way of others. It’s just how it is. But I do think that if you want to change things forgood, you should stick together instead.

I mean I don’t know about you, but not only do I love to watch films, I also like to check actors and actresses. I do so on imdb. It’s a great website, tells you all and more about the idol you have (pets, marriages, children, quotes, whatever they have available, really), and there has been one thing that struck me.
Many women who became famous, didn’t do so with a background in acting. They did while dancing. I was quite surprised when I saw that coming up more than once (Shirley McLaine, Goldie Hawn, etc). It made it clear to me that to be able to move your body around supple, dazzling directors no doubt, apparently was a way to make it into Hollywood. I am wondering how many of these women are yet to speak out about what happened to them, or would they have developed such a thick skin that they are simply thinking ‘it got me where I am today, or at least it was part of my road. It was a bumpy one, but I’m glad I’m here’? It’s possible. And I don’t think that’s wrong either. It is a way of dealing with what happened to you.

So no, I’m not saying any of these victims should stop complaining. Because it is true: people should have a safe work environment, no matter where they work. They should not need to be afraid of what might happen, due to the fact that there are a lot of other people wanting the same position. A bit of healthy competition can be a good thing, but this should strictly entail actual work related skills. And unless you’re working the porn industry, such types of skills are never part of that competition.

But it is true that there are people who easier ‘move on’ than others.

And then there’s people trying to support the ‘fallen’ ones, as good as there’s people to support the victims of these fallen ones.
There’s a tricky factor there too: backing up on someone who claims it didn’t happen, even if there’s proof that it did (look at Donald Trump) results in not being taken seriously ever again. To be fair I think that’s right, but Donald Trump is quite a different story here anyways.

Back to other business. I think it was right when Harvey Weinstein got kicked out badly. In the email that was released, he tried to safe his own ass by saying ‘give me a second chance’, which was laughable considering this wasn’t a second chance, it would have been the 2000st chance more like.
But there are stars who back up other harassers, like Matt Damon who tried to stick up for Louis C.K., who are being punished unusually hard for this. I don’t think Matt Damon is that wrong in his general opinion: during the start of the #meToo movement -and hopefully after! – men and women are being punished for abusing their position. The abuse of power should always be punished. But it seems that some people are being punished harder and louder than others. I’m sure Dylan Farrow still wonders why Woody Allen is still everyone’s favorite, while she has a nasty aftertaste about her childhood. While others wonder how Mia Farrow got away with teaching her daughter to hate her adoptive father so much that she’s been willing to do some incontrollable damage (in my opinion, the latter is still also an option, as I have seen from closeby how nasty mothers can become towards their own brood when a seperation is happening, and I don’t know either Mia Farrow nor Woody Allen well enough to make such a judgement).

 

Basically what we’re dealing with is the grey area that starts to exist when people don’t know if they were ever comfortable with someone touching them in whatever way possible, actual touching, or talking. And the ‘is he bastard enough to do this again, or can we just slap him really hard (physically or verbally) and move on and he will know he can’t do that again?’ Because yes, there’s people who will try once, then stop when they’re confronted with their weird business, and there’s people like Harvey Weinstein and Kevin Spacey, who need to be outed and kicked in the shins as loud as possible to make sure that they never do it again.
For me, people like Ben Affleck, Johnny Depp (different category, I know, but same thing: will he ever do it again?) and so on, aren’t innocent, but I do think they’ve learned their lesson by now.
It’s time to move on.

 
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Posted by on December 19, 2017 in Daily life, Films, Opinion

 

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Dark

With Louis Hofmann, Jördis Triebel, Oliver Masucci, Karoline Eichhorn and lots, lots of others.

This German series on Netflix is a very interesting one. It strongly reminded me of Stranger Things, though it was mostly its atmosphere. There’s resemblences in storyline, yes, such as fantasy and science fiction more or less mixed together. It has no references to other films (that I’ve noticed) though. There’s certain elements of Back to the Future in there too, but actually not strong enough to make it truly mention worthy. I still do, because there is a reference to it after all.

The story is about a small city, Winden, in Germany, which is situated around a powerplant. A teenager has gone missing, so parents are trying to keep their own children more safe, and, because that’s mostly what such children do, they start looking for trouble.
First, another kid goes missing. It seems at random, but as the series more or less has the catchphrase: ‘nothing that happens is by accident’, this is really just the beginning.

The acting in this series is very strong, it’s nearly impossible to put the story aside once you’ve entered it. Everything is connected and the writer(s?) really put in a good base, I feel. The only thing that is sort of a pity, is that although the powerplant is the spot where it all seems to be happening, it really isn’t involved itself. They just needed a place that’s not allowed to be accessable to, say, police, without a warrant. It might aswell could have been a millitary facility, which in a way it is.

Once the storylines truly begin to unveil themselves, at times you’re a bit flabbergasted, but in a good way. There’s only one or two elements that don’t add up, even in the end. It truly is worth watching.

I must admit I turned off the sound in most cases, as the ‘I can play an eggslicer with a fiddlestick’ really isn’t my kind of thing.

 

 

 

 
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Posted by on December 6, 2017 in Opinion, series, Uncategorized

 

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10 Cloverfield Lane

When Michelle, a young woman, decides to leave her boyfriend (or husband, or fiancé, this wasn’t exactly clear to me)she had no idea how drastically her life would suddenly change.
She decides to get the car and drive away, but meets with disaster on her way to wherever. Once she awakes, it’s mostly to confusion.
She has a drip in her arm, but is also tied to the wall with her knee, which is also bounded due to an injury that happened in the car accident.

This film is actually quite the mindfuck. Not in a constant thrilling way, but it defenitely has nontheless.
John Goodman is Howard, the guy who has saved Michelle, and John Gallagher Jr is Emmett, her co-survivor of what Howard tells them has been an attack. Emmett has seen it, Michelle is very sceptical about all of it.

Though they never truly become fully friends, they do find a way to live together in the bunker that Howard build. Michelle, whenever she finds a way to not believe something that Howard has come up with, Howard finds a way to prove her wrong and his own point. Still, you’re more on Michelle’s side, as Howard’s ideas are so eccentric or farfetched, if you will. You do feel trapped along with Michelle, but thankfully it’s quite easy to still relate to Howard, who has a strong personality, but is mostly just friendly in a fatherly way. Strict, but still loving, that is. It’s his main aim to keep everyone safe. So even if the children don’t behave, he gets upset, but he’s easy to calm down.

It’s really too bad that the last part of the film only takes that short. I feel the film deserved more than only those few minutes. It makes the slower middle part of the film quite pointless, actually.
Then again, it’s just a film.
It’s not bad, it’s just not the best you’ll ever see.

 
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Posted by on November 16, 2017 in Films, Opinion

 

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Woody, Mia, Dylan and Soon-Yi

Oh yes, let’s have an opinion on that, shall we?

Woody Allen is one of the most successfull storytellers of Hollywood. Everyone wants to work with him, thinks his work is amazing, a piece of art and so on.
I’ve been watching some of his films. Annie Hall being one of them and the most recent to that (thank you, Netflix!).
Also, I have read some of the stories that emerged about him. I’ve read how Mia Farrow wrote an eight page epistel of how he did wrong in Variety magazine (or was it a different one?). Then I read how Dylan complained to big stars such as Meryl Streep etc, asking them how they could have turned a blind eye to what Woody did to her?

I have to be honest here: it’s tricky business.
When two people love each other, they will try everything in their power to be together as much as possible. They get married, move in together, have children, that sort of things really. If things go wrong, however, it can take nasty turns. Especially with children involved. Mothers are known to be lions when it comes to their children. They will do anything to protect their cubs from evil doërs. So they should be, they’re the children’s mother, and if they don’t do it, who will? Most probable, it’s the other half involved. Father, or other partner (of whatever sexe really, it’s about the love that’s shared here) will usually do the same, but sometimes with less effort.

Where two people fight, there’s two people at fault, is my opinion. After reading Mia Farrow’s report on what had happened during her time with Woody Allen, I was quite surprised. For I read that there was an unwritten rule in their household that Woody should never be alone with Dylan. Dylan, an adoptive daughter. Not just that, the adoption wasn’t finalized yet when these things occurred. So I do ask myself: why would a mother ask a judge to let a man she doesn’t even trust to be alone with this child, to be the father of this child by law? Why would you do that? If you don’t trust him, why not adopt her on your own and make bloody sure that Woody Allen gets filed for some sort of report?
Because she didn’t.
She did seem to fill Dylan’s head with allegations against her father, about him being evil. I have no idea if any of it is true.
I’m not saying they aren’t.
I’m saying I don’t know.

Woody Allen has, since then, gotten a famous relationship with Soon Yi. We all saw what happened there. With her, he also adopted two children.
I can’t believe a judge would allow someone to adopt children if there was a suspicion of them abusing children in the past?

The whole case does make it impossible for Woody Allen to comment on the Weinstein issue, I’ve noticed. Even though things weren’t necessarily proved or unproved in his (Allens’) case, he did flirt with disaster and that doesn’t give him a strong ‘innocent’ side, I’ve noticed. I agree with him that it’s hard to get away from even the suspicion of abusement, even if you haven’t done anything. The point he is making is valid, as I just said: I don’t know who to believe: Farrow or Allen. Dylan is quite a different story. She is a victim, in whatever way you point it. Either because she has been fed false info as a child (from whichever side, really) or because she has had to endure experience things she should never have experienced in the first place.
Let’s hope that some day one of her parents decides to tell the actual true and tell her ‘Sorry Dylan, I’ve been most unkind to you and your childhood and I will regret doing that for the rest of my life’, and for Dylan to reply by: ‘well, what the hell took you so long?!’

 
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Posted by on October 24, 2017 in Opinion

 

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#MeToo

Like the church a few years ago, Harvey Weinstein and lots of other big Hollywood bozo’s suddenly collapse under the force that’s the united complaints of loads of people who finally go and tell who exactly harassed them when they were young.

I hear many men complain ‘oi, it’s not ALL MEN?! I was actually raised pretty properly!’ and I can imagine it feels like being trapped in the ‘guilty’ box even though you’re pretty sure you’ve never done anything.
First of all: hello and welcome aboard the Shittrain Of Accusations that women endure when they even so much as try to report what happened to them.
First questions asked aren’t ‘what did he wear? What does he look like? Shall I punch him in the face for you?’ most likely it’s:
‘What were you wearing? Did you say something that might have given him the idea you wanted it?’ or ‘how did he get to be alone with you?’
It’s mostly trying to see if it could be blamed on you. You. The one who just reported the harassment.
As a society we’re clear: it’s NEVER your fault.
Then again, as a society, our first approach is still that is COULD BE your fault after all. Maybe it’s not how you intend it, but it is how you approach it, quite likely.

Ages ago, when I was quite heavily underage (or at least very heavily underdeveloped as I recall), an aquantaince found a way to spend time with me. I hadn’t realised I had never been alone with this man, nor what the look in his eyes had meant when I had been wearing a bathing suit around him some time before that. I do recall -afterwards- that I had never seen anyone look at me like that. Not knowing what it meant, I didn’t act upon it in any way.
One afternoon his wife went out. It then happened. I am not a person to actually verbally say ‘stop that, please’. Even without the please. I just freeze. I’m quite introvert. I have learned from a young age that telling ‘stop, I don’t like it’ doesn’t help. Being the daily target of bullies at school, I had, in fact, learned that usually had the opposite effect.
I did try to at least turn my legs away, but being in a rather small space, that wasn’t a real option. It was caressing, touching, without actual looking at me. I got up, in hopes of escaping, but my leg was caught in his arms and he pulled me closer to him. As I couldn’t use my leg to keep my balance, my automatic response was to look for a way to keep my balance. That was sort of a ‘wrap my arm around his head’ kind of situation. So he got to touch my breast aswell in his next move. Given that my leg was now free, I got to walk away from that scene after that.

It took me quite some time to get over that. I had no idea what just happened, why it happened and especially not why it had happened to ME. I have never found myself attractive in any way whatsoever, people have always told me I look far too skinny to be that in case I might think different: so WHY me, really? And for the record: I had been wearing short skirts and dresses around this man for quite some time (it was summer and I was a daily visitor to the pool that was less than 10 feet away) but I was actually wearing trousers and an oversized T-shirt that particular day. Just so you know.

I decided to tell someone that same day, as I couldn’t stop crying for a full hour when I got back to where I was staying. I told the right one, thankfully, as the aquaintance who did it got an angry visit after that right away. I was told, before that visit ‘you have done NOTHING wrong, it wasn’t your fault and I’m glad that you have told me’. To be fair I have no idea what would have happened if the first one I told it to hadn’t responded like that.
I do recall telling some of my family members, and at least one of them responded with:
‘Are you sure it was that bad what happened? Uncle Blahblah has sometimes touched me weirdly too, it doesn’t necessarily mean anything’. I was a bit shocked by that. Not just Uncle Blahblah apparently not being able to keep their hands away -something I never have endured, thankfully- but also the idea that my interpretation of the experience could be questioned.

I’ve noticed something else too, with the #MeToo hashtag: women are being far braver than ever before. They still hardly mention any names though. Only when it’s one of them big bastards, like Harvey Weinstein, they do. He is already proven guilty after admitting he has done wrong things. So women do feel they no longer have to keep silent on his part. Good for them. But these other men, why still protect them?
I get it and I don’t get it, is all. And yes, I’m aware I’m doing exactly the same, but I think everyone’s story as to why they protect their harasser is different. I’m just curious to why others do it.
In my case, I find the fact that this man was already confronted with what he had done and afterwards apologised to me with the demands of the one who confronted him, he’s had his punishment. He thought he could get away with it, he couldn’t. I told, it was solved.

Another thing to be noticed with the hashtag: mostly it’s women coming forward about men harassing them. Unfortunately, men are sufferers too. There’s a book out about a boy growing up in an unsafe environment too. It’s called The Cock On The Beach That Didn’t Crow (and wasn’t missed) and will be available soon on amazon: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B076VM4ZWG

 
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Posted by on October 20, 2017 in Opinion, Uncategorized

 

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