Tag Archives: mourning

Snowcake (review)

Alex Hughes (greatly portrayed by the now late Alan Rickman) has the ‘fortune’ of running into a girl named Vivian at a highway restaurant. At first it seems like a coincedence she joins his table, but soon it appears this isn’t so. She is a hitchhiker who needs a ride back to her mother, and Alex Hughes seems like the best option, in her opinion.
Alex isn’t too charmed about this. He tells her immediately he just got out of prison for killing someone. Just to make clear to her that even though he seemed the best option for hitchhiking at first, not everybody is.
Vivian feels sort of uncomfortable immediately, but her spontaneous nature lets her to believe he is OK-people, so to say.

Then the accident happens. The afterlife of the accident covers all, or at least most of this film.

This film has a funny storyline which you wouldn’t find that quickly amongst ‘normal’ functioning people. Highly spontaneous people who don’t believe in bad people perhaps, but that’s about it.
ALan Rickman has the right face to look confused for the many weird interactions he has with Linda (marvellously played by Sigourney Weaver). The two of them are a perfect duet of sanity & insanity, but within the context of the psychological borders that come with those.

While Alex tries to get a grip on the life he was about to pursue when he was released from prison, Linda has to cope with the loss all of her loved ones show for the loss of her daughter. Because of her autism, she is dealing with this in a far different way than anybody else.
Sigourney Weaver has made a proper study of this condition and therefor portrays this really well. In our family, we have someone with this condition and it was very recognisable.
The film is, dramatic as it is, a joy to watch because of the ridicule Linda puts in, with sidekicks Alan Rickman and Carrie-Ann Moss for the usual human interactions people deal with at such a time.
Basically, it’s a small town losing its favourite daughter.
Lovely. Go see!

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Posted by on January 14, 2016 in Films, Opinion, Uncategorized


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Begrafenissen /Funerals

Begrafenissen zijn in het algemeen onprettig.
Je verliest iemand in je leven die je er, vaak, graag in had.
Het gebeurd ook wel dat je er minder bezwaar tegen hebt. Als degene die overleden is het enorm zwaar had vanwege ziekte bijvoorbeeld. Of jou het leven zuur maakte. In zulke gevallen ben je blij dat de rust voor diegene daar is. Of voor jezelf.
Ik had ooit een familielid dat aan de laatste categorie voldeed.
Blij zijn is dan weer een deur te ver, maar toch. Niet helemaal zoals je dat op zo’n moment van een nette familie verwacht. Nou ja, ík niet, in elk geval.
Bij een eerdere begrafenis, aan diezelfde kant van de familie, was men ongeveer van heinde en verre gekomen om zijn/haar laatste eer te bewijzen. Er werden mooie verhalen verteld in de kapel van de kerk, een lid van de plaatselijke rotary club had een aardig praatje, verschillende familieleden hadden nog wat mooie en emotionele verhalen te vertellen en tenslotte werd de kist vanuit de kapel door kleinkinderen naar het graf gedragen. Eenmaal daar kon de een na de ander het niet meer laten om in tranen uit te barsten. Het werd een warme bijeenkomst met eten, drinken en mooie herinneringen ondanks de dikke tranen van verdriet om het overlijden.

In dit andere geval werd er iemand nagenoeg berispt voor het in tranen uitbarsten. In de kapel werd er een verhaal gehouden door de dominee. Die had een familielid ingefluisterd:
‘Ik doe dit alleen voor jullie’, want voor de overledene zou ze het al niet meer gedaan hebben. De verhalen die er werden verteld waren stiekem niet eens over de overledene. Die was meer een figuurtje op de achtergrond in verhalen die eigenlijk een ander betroffen.
De tocht naar het graf zelf was per karretje op wielen, de naasten hadden geen zin in om de kist naar de plek van bestemming te dragen.
Het was wel gevraagd.
Reden voor weigering: het lengteverschil tussen de te dragen personen was zodanig dat het niet zou kunnen.
Een beleefd, maar absoluut ‘nee’.
Dezelfde mensen die eerder waren gekomen om de laatste eer te bewijzen aan het andere familielid, hadden dat hier alleen gedaan om de nabestaanden, niet om de laatste eer aan de overledene te tonen.
Het gaf niet zoveel. De overledene zou het toch niet gewaardeerd hebben.

Funerals are, in general, unpleasant.
You loose someone in your life whom you, usually, liked to be IN it.
It does happen you’re less objective against the dying. If the one who died was suffering some nasty disease, for instance. Or if the person made your life hell. On such occasions you’re usually happy that the person is resting in peace, Or that you will have a nice life now.
I used to have a relative that was kind of going for that last category.
To say there was happiness was a step beyond, but still. Not really the kind of thing you expect from a neat family. Well, not me anyways. Another funeral on that side of the family had resulted in a big reunion of sorts, people had come from far and beyond to say something nice, or just be there for the family and friends. There were lovely stories told in the chapel of the church, a member of the local rotary club had a nice speech and different relatives had some good and honest stories to tell from their adventures with the diseased one, after which the coffin was carried to the grave by the grandchildren. Where nearly no-one could stop him/herself from welling up and crying their eyes out. It was a warm, nice gathering with foods, drinks and cherished memories despite the moments of crying for the loss.

In this other ‘case’, someone was basically told to shut it when tears were about to come out. In the chapel the minister told a story. The minister did tell a familymember:
I’m only doing this for you guys’, since it wasn’t a courtesy to the diseased one. The stories that were told were secretly not actually concerning the one who died. It was merely a background figure in stories that were about someone else.
The walk to the grave was on a small wagon, the relatives themselves didn’t feel like carrying the coffin this time. It had been asked. Reason to say no was that the difference in heights of the requested persons was too big. A polite, but absolute ‘no’. The same people that had come before to show their sympathies, had now solely done so for the survivers, not the diseased one.
To be honest it didn’t matter that much. The diseased wouldn’t have liked it anyway. 

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Posted by on March 4, 2015 in Daily life, Humour


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