You know that scene from Sissi, in which she tells Franz that their first child is on its way? Just in case you haven’t, here’s his response:
Unless your response as a man is the same as the above, I don’t think you have any rights at all to judge a woman who is quite unsure what to do next, once she has found out she is pregnant.
For ‘normally’ pregnant females, there are websites, which tell you what feelings are normal to experience when you find out you’re pregnant. Also that it’s normal to feel quite ambivalent about it. To be scared. To want to get rid of it. To feel ill equipped. Those websites tell you to talk about those feelings. That it is normal to feel that way.
This is true. I have several friends who admitted to being scared shitless after finding out they were pregnant. No matter how much the unborn child was wanted, those thoughts were among the happy ones. It happens. Mostly, I’ll admit, with friends being heavily nauseous during that first trimester. Pregnancy isn’t always jolly good fun, after all.
It’s also true that types like Jacob Rees-Mogg wake up another type of disgust. Because what if your pregnancy is the result of a rape? The result of a rape by someone you trusted to be your protector? Or just someone who brutally grabbed you, pulled you into the bushes and made you his? Rape itself is traumatising enough, it’s disgusting that a man in suit and tie also claims abortion is wrong in all circumstances.
I was astounded to hear that Jacob actually has a wife and no less than six kids. After his bold confessions that he is against abortion in any case, I thought to myself: that poor daughter of them! Because this also entails that whatever will happen to her, she now has the security that her father will always assume that it was her fault, should something happen to her. Even if Jacob Rees-Mogg did it himself. Or his sons. He has enough of those.
With what kind of world view will these boys be raised? That it’s OK to rape a girl, because she denied him? That it’s OK to rape in general? Because yes, that’s basically what someone with those views, is saying. It is actually denying that rape exists at all. It is beyond the pillory, even. I wanna bet that Jacob Rees-Mogg was mourning the loss of the Magdalene laundrettes in Ireland when they were closed?!
And yes, I know those are his personal views, but still I consider this man to be very dangerous. And a bloody hypocrit, given that he profits from the sales of abortion pills. I’m pretty sure your God will kick you out of heaven, Jacob Rees-Mogg!
Then there’s yet another point of reasoning to consider. What if your child has a chromosomatical deficit, or is handicapped in a different way? This is, again, a very personal point of view. But that’s it: personal. There’s people who say a handicapped child shouldn’t be included in the pro choice process. Why is that?
I know there are experts and lots of people who are very willing to accept any type of people into their lives. But there’s also those who don’t. Why would you force a child to have a parent who will never fully love their child? Don’t forget that many of these children have needs that are mostly costly within health care. A health care that’s slowly bleeding to death, in nearly every country that even has this type of health care at the ready. There are lots of possibilities for people who have money, but not so much for those who don’t. Are you going to be the one who judges if a live is compatible with the current life? Or are you gonna leave that to a professional (the doctor) and the parents who actually need to take care of such a child?
I saw the other day an article about men talking about their side of the story when it came to abortions. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find the link any longer.
One man I felt for. He had wanted to have children with the love of his life, and I do think that if he would have had more time with this girl, they might have had a shot at being happy together. I did think: if she would have known how much he loved her, and how much her hormones were possibly confusing her, she might have kept it. Of course I can never be sure. It could be he wasn’t the love of her life, in which case it’s not all that brilliant to be tied together forever because of a child you have to raise. Parenting is tough enough if you are in harmony about things, as children will try to play you out at every single occasion possible.
Another story was from a man who had also unwillingly supported his girlfriend during her abortion. He later forced another woman to carry out her pregnancy, even though doctors had told them their child would not live out of the womb. Of course I felt sorry he had the traumatising experience of his girlfriend undergoing an abortion, but I could not, for the life of me, think why he would punish another woman for that?! He said in the end it was a healing experience, but I thought he had been very cruel to that woman. He had no right to do so, in my opinion. You’re not going to force someone you love, to loose someone if that’s not necessary.
And for those who are still not convinced it’s the choice of women themselves: I’ve read a website where women who had had an abortion could leave their story. I was astounded, shocked and disgusted by how many of these women had been chaised by their angry partners with knives, belts, bats and lovely promises (‘I’ll kill you and that unborn of yours if you keep it!’) before they went to indeed have an abortion. Imagine what that would be like if you did that where it’s illegal. How safe are you going to feel as a woman or a young girl in trouble, if everyone is opposed to any action you can think of?
If you want to help, then really help. Not short term. Don’t say ‘you are a murderer’. Try to actually foresee what could happen to this child if it was born. Are you gonna take care of it? Is that a solid promise, no matter what? Or are you just prolife because you once had an abortion and you’re sorry about it now? Your life isn’t the life of the other. You literally have no idea what you’re up against.